I realised Bernice cut her hair today.
So I officially ban her from the "beautiful" club where the members all have stunningly long hair.
Of course, I'm President of this club.
And my BELOVED brother is reclining next to me, his eyes widening as he reads my audacious post, and he is now attempting to imitate a toilet churner.
So let's see. Bernice's argument is that your hair is dead cells, so why on earth are we wasting precious energy which is only 10% passed down from each trophic level, to keep our long hair on our heads? I guess this explains why army people have to shave their heads... so they move faster without the addition of a redundant mop on their heads.
Well, I can't speak for guys, but for girls, I think i know the main reason.
It's just one word.
Vanity.
As much as I hate to admit it, girls have an undisputed flair for dressing up in every cloth item, spending ludicrously long hours in the bathroom despite numerous complaints from their beloved brothers, admiring their own images in every reflective surface they come across.
What can i say, we were made like that.
Only thing is, some of us hide it better than most people.
Now don't bat your eyes innocently and protest vehemently. I'm a girl too, I know how our minds work.
So now that we all agree on this spark of vanity inherent in every female in the population, I would like to propose that our long hair is merely another asset we flaunt shamelessly at each other.
Media obviously plays a very important role in our outlook. Don't most models stalk down the runway with glorious long hair fluttering behind them like superman's cloak? And not forgetting the chinese shows set in some random dynasty, with *gugu* from condor heroes, *xiaoyanzi* from huanzhugege, sporting a train of thick, luscious, ebony-black hair?
In essays, we describe long hair as a waterfall casading from precipitous cliffs, the dangling strands of the willow tree tossed about in the wind.. the list never ends.
Maybe that's why most girls prefer long hair to that short cropped mass of supposedly dead cells perching precariously on our precious skulls.
As a strong advocator of long hair, I would like to list a few other benefits of long hair.
1. Let's say someone, which in most instances are irritating brothers, annoys you to no end while you try to peruse a book. Just imagine, if you had the long luscious hair I spoke of above, with a casual flick of your head, you can render your dear brother unconscious. (faster and cheaper than a tranquilizer)
Your parents wouldn't even have any reason to scold you.
2. Now try to picture a situation in Orchard road, or any crowded place for that matter, where you spy someone you don't really wish to meet, bump into, or let alone have small talk with. (your teacher) This is where long fringes come in handy. With a swish of your head, let your fringe come down in front of your face, allowing it to cover most of your facial features. This serves as a natural mask, such that when that person passes by you, he or she sees not their bosom friend, but some random punk who didnt have more sense to trim their long hair. But we know better, dont we?
3. If you don't have irritating brothers (lucky u), or someone you wish to avoid at all costs, I would quote another instance. You're in a cold air-conditioned room. sitting right below the air-conditioner. The cool air blows insistently down your neck, causing your hair erector muscles to contract, and makes your hair stand on end, forming such a sparse layer of air which serves as a useless insulator of heat. Now just let your pony tail fall down (literally), such that your long hair covers your neck. Wouldn't your normally good-for-nothing mass of dead cells suddenly come in handy ? It's serving as a FOC, stylistic black scarf which is exclusively yours!
Now that's fashion actually being useful.
So, never estimate the power of long hair, how is affects you, and how it affects others around you (namely, your unconsious brother).
Membership for the "beautiful" club is now open, free-of-charge. For more enquiries, please approach Vera Chng of MGS, or contact her at aloevera_91@hotmail.com
There may be a selection test if response is too overwhelming. :P
Timothy Tang
17
Rockdige Secondery
Jan 13th 1992
[[ The Wishlist ]]
I could use a new set of headphones...
More guitars?
Maybe a grand piano...
and the will power to write my books
If only life was a fantasy story...
A weekend away with my extended family perhaps? (You know who you are) (^_^)
Fantasy of Darkness (A book project of mine)
Da creater
[[ Don't talk crap, it's ****ng rude ]]
I realised Bernice cut her hair today.
So I officially ban her from the "beautiful" club where the members all have stunningly long hair.
Of course, I'm President of this club.
And my BELOVED brother is reclining next to me, his eyes widening as he reads my audacious post, and he is now attempting to imitate a toilet churner.
So let's see. Bernice's argument is that your hair is dead cells, so why on earth are we wasting precious energy which is only 10% passed down from each trophic level, to keep our long hair on our heads? I guess this explains why army people have to shave their heads... so they move faster without the addition of a redundant mop on their heads.
Well, I can't speak for guys, but for girls, I think i know the main reason.
It's just one word.
Vanity.
As much as I hate to admit it, girls have an undisputed flair for dressing up in every cloth item, spending ludicrously long hours in the bathroom despite numerous complaints from their beloved brothers, admiring their own images in every reflective surface they come across.
What can i say, we were made like that.
Only thing is, some of us hide it better than most people.
Now don't bat your eyes innocently and protest vehemently. I'm a girl too, I know how our minds work.
So now that we all agree on this spark of vanity inherent in every female in the population, I would like to propose that our long hair is merely another asset we flaunt shamelessly at each other.
Media obviously plays a very important role in our outlook. Don't most models stalk down the runway with glorious long hair fluttering behind them like superman's cloak? And not forgetting the chinese shows set in some random dynasty, with *gugu* from condor heroes, *xiaoyanzi* from huanzhugege, sporting a train of thick, luscious, ebony-black hair?
In essays, we describe long hair as a waterfall casading from precipitous cliffs, the dangling strands of the willow tree tossed about in the wind.. the list never ends.
Maybe that's why most girls prefer long hair to that short cropped mass of supposedly dead cells perching precariously on our precious skulls.
As a strong advocator of long hair, I would like to list a few other benefits of long hair.
1. Let's say someone, which in most instances are irritating brothers, annoys you to no end while you try to peruse a book. Just imagine, if you had the long luscious hair I spoke of above, with a casual flick of your head, you can render your dear brother unconscious. (faster and cheaper than a tranquilizer)
Your parents wouldn't even have any reason to scold you.
2. Now try to picture a situation in Orchard road, or any crowded place for that matter, where you spy someone you don't really wish to meet, bump into, or let alone have small talk with. (your teacher) This is where long fringes come in handy. With a swish of your head, let your fringe come down in front of your face, allowing it to cover most of your facial features. This serves as a natural mask, such that when that person passes by you, he or she sees not their bosom friend, but some random punk who didnt have more sense to trim their long hair. But we know better, dont we?
3. If you don't have irritating brothers (lucky u), or someone you wish to avoid at all costs, I would quote another instance. You're in a cold air-conditioned room. sitting right below the air-conditioner. The cool air blows insistently down your neck, causing your hair erector muscles to contract, and makes your hair stand on end, forming such a sparse layer of air which serves as a useless insulator of heat. Now just let your pony tail fall down (literally), such that your long hair covers your neck. Wouldn't your normally good-for-nothing mass of dead cells suddenly come in handy ? It's serving as a FOC, stylistic black scarf which is exclusively yours!
Now that's fashion actually being useful.
So, never estimate the power of long hair, how is affects you, and how it affects others around you (namely, your unconsious brother).
Membership for the "beautiful" club is now open, free-of-charge. For more enquiries, please approach Vera Chng of MGS, or contact her at aloevera_91@hotmail.com
There may be a selection test if response is too overwhelming. :P